Modern Intimacy

Modern Intimacy

Share this post

Modern Intimacy
Modern Intimacy
Need Your Partner to Take on More Emotional Labor? Here’s How

Need Your Partner to Take on More Emotional Labor? Here’s How

The first step toward rebalancing emotional labor is recognizing the effort and time that goes into it.

Jun 30, 2023
∙ Paid
3

Share this post

Modern Intimacy
Modern Intimacy
Need Your Partner to Take on More Emotional Labor? Here’s How
Share

Emotional labor is a big topic, which is why I devoted Tuesday’s newsletter to it, and why Rose Hackman wrote an entire book about it. Emotional Labor: The Invisible Work Shaping Our Lives and How to Claim Our Power is our June book club selection. (More details below.)

Sometimes called “mental load,” emotional labor refers to the invisible effort required to maintain relationships, including initiating physical intimacy, leading difficult conversations, managing schedules, and making decisions.

Emotional labor disparity can occur in any type of relationship, including friendship, familial relationships, and professional relationships. But romantic relationships, in particular, can feel very imbalanced when there is a stark disparity in emotional labor, and that’s what I’m going to focus on today. 


What’s ahead in this email for paid subscribers:

  • How to know if you have a disparity

  • Identifying where emotional labor can be rebalanced

  • Check-ins and questions to ask

  • More to read, watch, and listen to


Keep reading with a 7-day free trial

Subscribe to Modern Intimacy to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in
© 2025 Modern Intimacy
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture

Share