Why Objectification Is Harmful — and How to Examine It (with reflection questions)

A closer look at objectification and how it fits into society’s misogynistic toolbox.

Throughout the month of March, we’re diving deep into misogyny — which is the belief that women are inferior — and how it is used as a tool to hold women back. Today, we’re looking closely at objectification (a potent expression of misogyny) and how it can be harmful to everyone, but to women in particular.

Simply put, objectification means treating humans like mere objects. But in reality, objectification is far more complicated and manifests itself in a multitude of ways. 

According to Objectification Theory, women are more likely than men to be treated as sexual objects. This can lead to women internalizing their own objectification — aka, self-objectifying — which can have a long list of negative effects, including shame about their bodies and a lack of awareness about bodily sensation. Objectification also puts women at increased risk of certain mental health disorders, including depression, eating disorders, and sexual dysfunction.

Learn more: Covert Sexual Trauma: When there is no history of sexual abuse, but it feels like there was

As we learned on this week’s Modern Intimacy podcast, people use objectification as a way to ward off existential dread. According to researchers Dr. Jamie Goldenberg and Roxanne Felig, when we objectify women, it’s partly to avoid thinking about our own mortality. 

In Tuesday’s newsletter, we posed an important question: How does being objectified affect your experience of desire? Here’s how our community responded:

• 43% reported they felt increased desire

• 36% reported they felt decreased desire

• 14% reported they felt no desire

• 7% reported they were unsure

• 0% reported no change in desire

It seems surprising that so many people would experience an increase in sexual desire when they are objectified, given what  we know about the harmful effects of objectification. However, it is a response that I hear a lot as a sex therapist. There are a few meaningful ways to understand these results, though this is not an exhaustive list.

1. It is a small sample size and therefore not a true capture of peoples’ feelings related to objectification and desire. 

2. Perhaps those who had strong feelings about the relationship between objectification and desire responded, skewing the results.

3. Desire is a complex phenomenon and often draws from illogical starts. In other words, it may be erotically exciting to be consensually objectified.  

4. It may also feel like a taboo to feel arousal at the idea of being consensually objectified or dehumanized. For many people, engaging in something that is taboo in fantasy is incredibly exciting specifically because it’s a fantasy, and in the fantasy it’s within their control as opposed to the objectification they may contend with IRL. 

5. Being objectified can feel so dehumanizing and demoralizing that some people may unconsciously reposition their idea of self as someone who enjoys the experience, so as to avoid the grief, anger, or helplessness they may feel otherwise.

6. For some it can feel erotically charged to be consensually objectified because it relieves them of the mental load and responsibilities that come with being a whole human and gives them access to the surrender of sexual pleasure.

7. Some people conflate  the idea of being objectified with the idea of being desired. Sexual objectification is so pervasive in Western society that many people do not know how to imagine being desired (or showing desire) outside the experience of objectification. When I ask folks if what they mean when they say they love being objectified is that they love feeling desired, many exclaim an emphatic, “YES!”

The difficulty in understanding the pleasures or pitfalls of objectification is that the experience is contextual. The intention of the objectifier and the impact on the objectified are often experienced incongruently, without conscious and proactive communication or negotiated agreements and boundaries that are mutually beneficial. In both interpersonal and social contexts, objectification occurs non-consensually all the time. 

Though the term objectification gets thrown around a lot, it isn’t always clear what it entails or its incredible nuance. So let’s break it down. 

*Content Note - objectifying and degrading language ahead*

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